Episode 06: Parenting Creatively
[00:00:00] And welcome to another episode of The Life We Create. I am Cobain Rivers. And I'm Taylor Joy Stevens. And thank you for spending your Friday with us. We hope you had a solid week and we hope the weekend's even better, honestly, you know? Yeah, I mean, any time you spend with us is a good time, so, uh, we're ready to get into it.
But first, uh, follow Like, subscribe, share, review! Give us a review, please. Do all those things, yeah. Look out for the squad. Uh, best thing you can do is tell the world about us. And it's free. The best support and it's free. All right. So this week we're [00:01:00] talking about how our baby enhanced our creativity. So what does that mean?
How our baby enhanced our creativity? What exactly, what is that? What are we talking about? Exactly. Um, well, we're talking about all the little and big ways. It's impact our cre impacted our creativity, how we find it in small moments, how we do creative things with him, how we, um, do creative things within the timeframe that we have now.
Basically, um, that, that, uh, creativity is not a special event, but it is special. How having a little human improved the way we create. Yeah. Never would have thought. Counterintuitive. Never. Would have thought. [00:02:00] Yeah. Yeah. Um, Um, yeah, it's, it's, it's been, you know, quite a journey, really amazing learning every day.
Um, and the big, uh, reason why we wanted creativity to be like the center of parenthood for us, um, is because we really want. To bring Cash up in a world where like creativity is normalized and it's natural and It's showcased to him through us. Yeah but also I think a big thing is How we've been able to utilize The time that we have to be creative.
It's really jump started that for me I don't put things off as long as I used to in the past because I know I only have like a limited amount of time For certain things so I [00:03:00] definitely wouldn't definitely didn't expect him to Light a fire under my ass When it comes to some of this creative stuff and like to just not think so much and just do it So that's been cool you mentioned how it lit a fire under your ass like What exactly?
Happened that made you realize that's what was going on? Well, I knew that I had to incorporate creativity for myself at a certain point because like, you know, the first part of it, the first part of the adjustment period was just focusing on like survival and like recovering and um, you know, just taking care of him.
Um, but creativity is, very much self care for me, expressing it, expressing creativity. Um, so I'd find [00:04:00] in little moments, little pockets of time, like five minutes here or there, Oh, let me do something creative because this will help me. Um, so that's how I, that's how I like found it again for myself and just little moments and non pressure ways.
Um, Yeah, just cause I wasn't able to like do certain things even like energetically at that point for long periods of time. So yeah, finding it in little ways. And sometimes those ways incorporated Cash too. Like playing the piano for a few minutes or, you know, singing to him. Yeah. Well, and it's cool how those things helped kind of, as he has gotten older.
has further developed his creativity. Like, you know, I know you started playing piano with him when you were, when he was younger, uh, and [00:05:00] when he couldn't even do anything, but he was just kind of like on you, um, and, and like the sling, um, but seeing how it's progressed to now him You know, playing around on the piano, turning it on and off, hitting the keys, uh, his favorite thing is turning on the, the metronome.
Um, these are the things that I think are really cool to see how that's progressed just from you doing your own creativity around him. Yeah. And it's incorporated him. That's cool. Yeah. Yeah, he's, um, you know, very observant. So he's always watching and I see how our creativity impacts him, especially when you know, you're working on music and How he'll like pop to your beats and stuff.
Yeah, it's actually become how I go about Knowing what songs I want to keep working on. I Um, play different sounds [00:06:00] and, and do different things. And if I see him kind of nodding his head and I'm like, all right, I'm gonna keep going with that. Um, so it's cool having this sort of built in test audience. I feel like if, if it's, uh, it's dope enough to make a baby bop, then it should work on adults.
Yeah. Well, yeah. Cause it's all about, they're all about feeling and he very much. Feels the music, which is really cool to observe. Yeah. Um, I actually think about like, so like for me pretty early on, um, after he was born, I know I got right back into, you know, trying to get back into my creative groove and it was a slow burn, but you know, I think it was like three or four weeks after he was born, um, I was already back at the studio.
Um, Try some things out. Um, but what I noticed that was really important about that was being able to [00:07:00] get back into the studio, get my creative, like juices flowing again, really helped me be so much more, I think supportive and helpful at home. Uh, because it was, uh, it was my self care was able to come back.
Cause that's, that's really what a lot of creative things are for me, uh, and for actually the whole household and for most people, honestly, uh, it is a, It is a mental health tool. Uh, I, I do a lot of these things out of expression, um, and being able to just connect with feelings. Um, so being able to get back into the studio and start working again, really helped me come back home and be in the right space to, to just be.
As supportive as a partner as I could be, I, you know, anybody that's had a baby knows that, you know, the beginning of this period is just a lot of, [00:08:00] a lot of sleeping and a lot of crying, uh, but in the sleeping is not like for the baby, the sleeping is like every, it's, it's on and off all day long. So it's not like, uh, Oh, they're going to be sleep for five hours.
We'll be fine. It's like, uh, this. Man just took a 20 minute nap. All right. He's back up For us though because this is so new it's like no sleep because even as he's sleeping i'm like, uh I don't want to I don't want to like go to sleep. What's up happens? What's going on until like there's so much of us being alert and awake awake all the time Um that It really weighs on you in those early months, uh, and so we had to figure out ways of being able to, to, to do our creative groove.
Um, and I know that I was just able to get back into it a lot sooner, but I think a big part of that is because it's a very different experience for men and women when having a child or giving birth, uh, w women go through such a. [00:09:00] drastic physical change along with their mental change where I think for men it is a lot more, it's emotional, um, but it's a little bit more mental, just kind of getting adjusted to a whole new way of life.
But you guys go through this whole body transformation that I think can weigh a little bit heavier on you and it's harder to get back in to the groove of things. Mm hmm. Yeah. It's a huge body and mind transformation. I mean, your brain is literally rewired, um, like, yeah, you're, uh, you're encoded essentially with a different, like, operating system.
A computer reference, that guy. You know, we always have to throw in a computer reference working at Apple. Uh, but, uh, yeah, [00:10:00] um, yeah, mine was a longer transition and it was challenging. Um, yeah. But, when I came to and came back around and incorporated my creativity again, I, I like found myself again in that.
Because, like, being creative is such a huge part of who I am. Right. Um, and then finding ways that I could do it with cash, like, I feel helped me flourish. And it also helped, like, it also, having cash, like, eliminated a lot of the excuses I would have in the past for, like, not doing creative things. Um, and it was, like, kind of, like, well, you have this time, you either do it or you be miserable.
So do it, um, and express yourself and, you know, [00:11:00] be yourself in this moment, be yourself and have cash and enjoy what you're doing too. Like it took on a whole different, um, life, you know, creativity did in a different color that it just expanded my creative horizons. Earlier, you, you mentioned how
having cash impacted your. Ability to create in small amounts of time. Um, and that's something that I didn't expect to happen at all. Um, prior to us having cash, we decided to go all in on our business. Um, so both of us left our jobs, um, and said, we're going to focus on our business. That's kind of crazy to do when you're having a new child.
Uh, it's low key terrifying, but it never, it never didn't, [00:12:00] it never felt like the wrong thing to do. Like, the whole time it always felt like this was the proper move to make. Um, and through this, these little moments that we found to create, every time you had to just jump right in and jump right in. And in the beginning, it wasn't as easy as just jumping right in.
You know, you sit there and you're like, Oh, what do I want to create? What do I want to do? And then he's awake. And you're like, Oh, snap. I missed some time. Uh, but over time, that changed to, Oh, I've got I've got 35 minutes. I've got 45 minutes to get something done. Let me go get it done. And I just hop in and now I'm active.
Finishing it then he wakes up and I'm like, all right Well, we'll come back to this the next time and we built this muscle of being able to just jump In at the drop of a dime and say now it's time to be creative Yeah, yeah, it's definitely a superpower that I that I believe we both have gained Um, so that's [00:13:00] cool Like one of the big decisions for diving fully into our business was to show Cash how, how we are consistently using creativity to create the life that we want.
And like to be role models of that. Um, for it to be a, A skill that is always drawn on in life, you know, regardless of which path he takes, he can always, you know, count on his creativity and imagination. Um, so yeah, it's just like a really important value for us to instill, like, as, as parents. Yeah, you know, uh, there's, um, this, uh, author Katie Ashcraft.
I think that's her name, uh, she wrote about how [00:14:00] creative parents are a privilege, um, and the article itself is actually about differentiating creative parents from being connected to nepotism. Uh, and I think, you know, a lot of times people think, oh, your parents did this, so of course you, your parents were a makeup artist in the industry, so of course you're be a successful actor.
And that's really not how things work. I, you know, not saying that makeup artists aren't great, but not many makeup artists have been able to just get you a star and role in a movie. I don't know, like, it's really not translatable in that same way. But what she talks about in the article is how having creative parents really expands your view of the world.
Your perspectives really allows you to Go through life and look at all your experiences at every moment. And [00:15:00] find things from that to round out your, your skill set, um, which is something we've talked about in previous episodes. That's the whole point of trying new things, experiencing new things is to expand your horizons, your creativity.
And so Herb, Mom was a printmaker. Her dad was a sculptor. She's now a writer. Um, but she talks about how growing up with these parents who they were able to make money in different ways from some of their art, but also like doing different jobs. She saw creativity from both sides of the, um, uh, from both sides of things.
One from a. When you can make money from creativity, but two from you may not make money from creative creativity But you can at least express yourself and feel happy doing it She got to see all these sides of things and she talked about how She's had all kinds of different jobs from retail to you know, going to school all these different things But none of those [00:16:00] stopped her from being a writer.
She was always a writer But she does all these other things as well. And that's really what I think we want for cash. We want cash to grow up in this world where he can be Anything and everything he wants to be and there's not one side to him Like I think that's the the thing we want to break the mold of is is you're not like You're not the thing you do.
Yeah, I think we've both have talked about, um, having Cash being naturally able to draw on creativity regardless of what it is, is just an important, um, muscle and skill and, um, something that we want to be like, um, um, Oh, what is that called? Like, uh,[00:17:00]
Not like autopilot, but like, um, you don't think about it type of response. Yeah. Second nature. I was going to say that, but I'm like, that sounds wrong. Um, second nature response to life. Yeah. Yeah. Um. Yes, we're excited, like, the creativity that, you know, the path that he chooses just from learning from us and hopefully, you know, well, not hopefully, but, well, maybe hopefully, I hope he enjoys some of the creative stuff that we do, but even if he doesn't, at least he's exposed to it.
Yeah, I mean, I think he will. I mean, I think he will. I think he does. I mean, I see, I see all the time how interested he is in things, um, because we're interested in them. Um, you know, he, he's picked up so many things just because he sees us doing them. Uh, He likes video games because he sees me playing with video games.
He's dancing because he sees you dancing. So there's all these things [00:18:00] that are taking place. That is because he enjoys it. And a big part of that is because he sees the enjoyment through us, you know? Uh, Matthew McConaughey before, I know you've got something to say, Matthew McConaughey though did a, uh, he wrote this memoir not too long ago, and on his little press run, it wasn't a little press run, it was like a real press run, on his press run for it, he said something that I really enjoyed, uh, and, It's because his kids, he's excited about how creative they are.
Uh, and he said it really boomed in the, uh, the pandemic. Uh, and he said that was because they had to create their way out of boredom. And I really liked that as a phrase. Um, I think. That is, I was an only child growing up, that is a thing that's just held such weight for me. You create, creativity, using that as a muscle, your imagination, these are all things that you [00:19:00] do that really help change the world and reality around you.
Yeah, yeah, create your way out of boredom. Um, there's a really good quote that I can't think of right now. But, basically, If you're, maybe I'll find it and we'll just show it or use it in some way, but, um, you really can't be bored if you have an imagination. I think it's one of those. Um, so, yeah, I definitely relate to because for the first seven years of my life, I was an only child and definitely remember being, um.
You know, content playing with my dolls and having all storylines and coloring and drawing. Yeah, you don't even, yeah, you don't really know the difference, but some of, um, you know, you're talking about. You know what you said, um, you know, as parents and how you parent and how it impacts, like I want to know like how it impacts [00:20:00] your relationship with your child because I know some of my, some of my um, core memories were when I was doing something creative with my mom.
Mm. And, like, we would go to curriculum night and we focused on painting this Van Gogh painting together. And, um, when we'd go to museums together, like, my mom had such an appreciation for the arts that that expanded my world. Um. I feel like this is a whole separate episode for us in terms of how creativity influenced our lives, especially as children.
So we could totally get into that, but, um, it makes a difference and you know, it's human. Like we always say, if you're human, you're creative. So yeah. Definitely let us know the ways in which you practice creativity with your children, um, outside your children. Um, we'd love to hear it. Yeah, so, uh, thanks for rocking with us.
Another episode in the books. [00:21:00] We like spending time with you guys, uh, so. We'll talk to you soon. Follow us on all the social medias. I am at Cobain Rivers and everything. She is at Taylor Joyce Stevens and we are at Self Love Media. That's S L F L V E Media. One last thing, please review on Apple Podcasts.
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